I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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