This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
