Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
