i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
