How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
