No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize