morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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