My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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