I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
