i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
