idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
