i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
She bit a glass in half.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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