um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
