Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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