Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
