there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
