I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
