Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
