my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
