her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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