If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
