We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
this boner is exhausting
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
