I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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