As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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