It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
