Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I need help removing her.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
you had me at cake vodka
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
