Define "chronic" masturbator.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
