Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
