oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize