Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
