Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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