I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
