we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
