You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
