I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize