Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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