Duck Duck Cougar?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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