he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
