you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
