Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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