He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
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