I like to think it a success when the cops are called
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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