I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
