Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
