Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You're a waste of cheezeits
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
