i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
you had me at cake vodka
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Randomize
