i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
They are going to name an STD after you.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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