either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
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