actually, I'm a sock model
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
