kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
