im gay
i know
yea but for you.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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