it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
