Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
