so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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