butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
