i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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