This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You need a sexual gate keeper
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
