If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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