the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
