Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
