So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
