i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
what day is it and did you see me today?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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