question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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