Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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