I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You have to summon your inner elephant
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
